Google Dollops of Diane: December 2011

Friday, December 30, 2011

Things You Should Not Say to Your 1 Year Old

As you may know, Daniel has always been our problem child and keeps us on our toes. The past couple of days he has been taking daily doses of cranky pills and is driving me crazy. Last night, during a one hour span I said the following things to him:

  • You make me drink.
  • Get away from me!!
  • You are the devil.
  • You’re going to the orphanage.

That’s right, I said all of those things to him in just one hour. Good thing he still can’t talk otherwise he might tattle on me. 


Thursday, December 29, 2011

Someone Has to be the Crazy One


 I was recently telling a friend about my experiences with sleepwalking and figured I would share them here as well. Why not, right? I would love to say that my “experiences” are an old roommate that did it or how I did it as a child or how one of my kids does it, but sadly I am indeed the sleepwalker in the house. Now the best part is that I haven’t always done it. The first time that I started doing it was actually shortly after I started dating my (now) husband. I find the timing quite interesting and obviously blame him for my craziness. I’d also like to be able to say that I get up and do fun things during the night like start making food or do a dance or something, but that’s not my style. I like to wake up in COMPLETE panic that something is wrong and basically flip out. I also like to get mad at Tim who tries to calmly get me to go back to sleep while I yell things at him like, “THERE ARE SPIDERS COMING OUT OF THE WALL!!!!”  

Luckily, it is not something that I do every night. I usually go a good few months without having any episodes but then they start up and I have them pretty regularly for a while. They do also tend to come about when I have additional stress in my life but that’s not always the case. Pretty standard dreams include wires in the room being on fire, bugs, and random people being in the room. I also regularly wake up standing in another room without really knowing why I am there.  We have a baby gate at the top of the stairs that we lock each night so that I don’t go downstairs. Yup, the gate is for me and not the kids! Some “favorites” of sleeping walking also include:

  • Tim finding me running out the backdoor of our old apartment. Hello…the apartment was on fire. I had to get out!
  • Being on top of Tim and hysterically trying to give him CPR. Hello…he had drowned. I was only trying to save his life.
  • Waking up and coming to while in the process of dialing 911 on my phone. Hello…there were men in the house.  I was just calling in a break in. 

Luckily, I generally wake up in full panic mode and jump out of bed so Tim is woken up by my shenanigans. We have also learned through trial and error that turning on the light will cause me to wake up on my own within a minute or so. Of course, before that happens I yell at Tim since he barely lifts his head now and tries to just continue sleeping and ignore his crazy wife.  Good times, good times.

I saw this shirt on zazzle.com. I think maybe it was made for me.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Third Birthdays are for Torture


When our children turn three instead of giving them some super awesome gift that they are going to love, we choose to give them the gift of torture instead. On their third birthday, they are forced to give up their binkies. Now I know a lot of people kick the binky habit earlier but I let it slide. Once they turn one it becomes only a nighttime thing and they are able to keep it at night until they turn three.  We talk it up a lot before how they will be big kids when they are three and no longer need binkies since binkies are for babies.

When Isabelle turned three it was not an easy transition. She cried and cried the first night until she realized she could just steal Henry’s binkies from his crib. Of course, she wouldn’t just steal one of them but she would take them all from him. Starting at basically the age that they can move, I always surround the baby with binkies so that at any turn he/she could get one which increases my ability to have a full night’s sleep!  Of course that doesn’t help their addiction since they all started sleeping with binkies in their mouth and in each hand! So back to poor Henry who was behind bars and unable to defend himself from his binky stealing sister, he would obviously start crying. So for a few weeks, we played this “game” although she eventually smartened up and waited for Henry to fall asleep before she turned into a thief. Eventually though the thrill of it was lost and she would fall asleep on her own without performing her nightly burglar routine.

I thought that Henry would have a harder time with giving them up since he seems like more of a baby at this age than Isabelle did. She was always somewhat “advanced” for her age and if she had a hard time with it I was afraid it would be a complete nightmare with Henry. Plus, he’s still in a crib so he couldn’t get out to steal Daniel’s binks!  So yesterday was Henry’s third birthday so we had been prepping him for the big binky free night and I was prepping myself for lots of tears. I brought him up to his crib, tucked him in, and reminded him that he was big now and didn’t need his binkies. I saw a tiny little lip quiver and I thought, “Oh no, here it comes!!!” but I offered him a few new birthday cars to bring to bed instead and he was fine. Yup, HE WAS FINE. He did not cry at all. He happily went to bed. He slept the whole night without waking up. When he did wake up in the morning, he acted completely normal. It was as if the binkies never even existed. I still can’t even believe it. It was AMAZING.

This big kid is binky free!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Along Came Henry


With it being Henry’s third birthday today, I figured it’s only right to tell the tale of his birth (I’ll leave out the gory details). My pregnancy was pretty routine except that he was breech up until the bitter end. I lived in denial and continued to tell my OB that he would flip on his own (that’s what babies do, right?). It finally got to the point where the doctor made me (basically by holding a gun to my head) either schedule an external cephalic version or a C section. I did not want a C section since I had a natural delivery previously and also had a fourteen month old at home to care for.

So the day after Christmas in 2008, I went to the hospital for a version procedure. For those who don’t know what that is, it’s done by applying pressure to your abdomen and manually manipulating the baby so that they turn in to a head down position. I had heard HORROR stories about how painful the procedure was and it also doesn’t have a huge long term success rate (sometimes the babies flip back even if the procedure is originally successful).  So it was really kind of a bummer and also hard to have lingering in the back of my head over the holidays. Anyway, I went in on that Friday morning and it honestly wasn’t THAT bad pain wise although it did kind of feel like I had been run over by a truck. The pain and inconvenience was worth it though because good old Henry did what he was supposed to and flipped the correct way.

I left the hospital a few hours later but knew I would be back soon since I started having minor contractions. I then went home and did what every person who is about to have a baby does – host a family get together. Honestly, though I can’t even really take credit for hosting since it only included ordering pizza and hanging out with family from out of town. Before I went to bed, I was sure to let my cousin know that she would most likely be getting a call during the night to come stay with Isabelle. I went to bed with the hospital bag at the foot of the bed and sure enough at 3am I woke up and we headed on our way. We knew from Isabelle’s birth that my labor tends to be fast and furious so we don’t mess around when it is game time. I had missed the window for an epidural with Isabelle so I decided to go au natural again. We arrived at the hospital around 4am and got settled. I was then having enormous pressure due to a bulging bag of waters (too much info? Sorry) but was used to this because it had happened before. The second they broke my water I felt SUCH a relief. The doctor then said, “Reach down and feel your baby.” I thought that she meant, you know like, coming out of me which I am not in to so I said, “No thanks.” She then said, “No, look down!” You know what I saw when I looked down? My baby on top of my stomach. Yup, that’s right, Henry had come out on his own when they broke the water without even a push and I didn’t even know it.  Good boy, Henry. Good boy.

Henry Stephen
Born 12/27/2008, 5:49am
7 pounds, 6 ounces and 20 inches


Saturday, December 24, 2011

We’re Ready Santa!


We’ll be heading out shortly to celebrate Christmas Eve at my Aunt and Uncle’s house. HOPEFULLY, the kids will be fast asleep by the time we get home so we are getting all set for Santa now.  
                                              
Cookies for Santa and Magic Food for Reindeers: CHECK


Letters to Santa: CHECK

Isabelle wasn’t sure what she wanted Santa to bring so she went for a simple, “Hi Santa, Isabelle (heart)”



Henry has been telling anyone who would listen that he wants Santa to bring him Alphie. I had to Google him to find out what it was but I’m pretty sure Henry’s going to lose it when he sees him Christmas morning. Please note, this is a picture of Alphie but I told Henry maybe we should write it in words just to make sure Santa knew (and years from now Santa could remember his favorite toy!).


This is Daniel’s letter to Santa. I can only imagine it says, “Please bring me more climbing devices and small objects to put in my mouth.” He probably would have asked for more but his letter writing was cut short when he insisted on eating all the markers.


Okay, that’s all for now people. This Mamma is checking out to overindulge in treats and sweets. Merry Christmas Everyone!






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