Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Just Wait Until...


Last week started the beginning of the madness of every day school drop offs. After one drama filled drop off and one perfect drop off, we are in the groove of constantly coming and going from school. Isabelle goes Monday, Wednesday, Friday while Henry goes Tuesday, Thursday. I’m not going to lie by the end of last week I was spent. Even though we generally keep busy, adjusting to a new schedule can be exhausting. Keeping track of which kid was going which day, which kid needed a snack, which kid needed lunch, which kid needed to bring classroom supplies, which kid needed to be picked up at what time, etc. it was mind boggling. On top of school, add in gymnastics, our weekly scheduled playdates, our MOMS Club activities, plus food shopping, errands, and household chores, it was tiring.

Now I’m not one to generally complain so when anyone would ask how our week went or how school is going I would generally answer with something simple like, “It was good but tiring!” Do you know what just about every.single.person responded to me with? Some variety of: well it doesn’t get any easier, wait until the kids are older, you think it’s bad now wait until xyz, wait until they this, wait until they that.  I find it interesting that everyone finds it necessary to tell me how things are just going to get worse in the future. Is a life of misery really all I have to look forward to?

It really made me think of how we focus on the negative and transmit that back to other people. So from now on, when someone tells me about a tough day they had, a problem they’re having with their child, or any general complaint, I’m going to do my best to just listen and empathize. I’m going to refrain from comparing it to what I’m doing/have done and I’m going to refrain from telling them how the future will be (especially if I think it’s going to be bad). I’m just going to listen because when someone tells you that they are exhausted a kind ear might just be all that they are looking for.

Be afraid - the worst is yet to come.

9 comments:

  1. It's so funny because at the end of last week, I too was one exhausted mama. Too exhausted I think to hear anyone tell me how it would only get worse.

    I decided yesterday to embrace the chaos that is three children. Love it, look forward to it, and embrace it. I think I'll go crazy otherwise - that's what everyone is telling us right ?!

    Hang in there mama It's only gonna get worse, I mean better, I mean crazier. AH forget it, you'll be fine.

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  2. I always supposed it was the misery loves company thing that made people do that. I try not to make someone feel even worse when they have just expressed how bad they feel. As a friend, how am I helping them feel better by telling them how much worse it could be. I am reminded of something I told my husband years ago. When I share my feelings with you I am not looking for a fix, just a sympathetic ear.

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  3. I am a firm believer in "your problems are your problems." not everyone is dealing with the worst things in life, but it doesn't mean that the simpler things aren't also stressful and fraught. I try hard not to belittle what someone else is going through, because I'm probably suffering from something trivial myself! We just all need a little more compassion. :)

    First time reading you - looking forward to connecting at Springboard!

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  4. I hear ya, my friend. Last year, when I only had one child in school, I was fine. This year, they are both in full time school and when they come off of the bus, it's like a tornado blowing through town. They're both talking AT me about their days and what they have for homework, etc. It's so overwhelming to keep track of what to pack who for lunch and which papers go in which person's folder. Ugh.

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  5. The first week or two is SO hard! I have been bombarded with negativity over the past few weeks, and your post really hit home, Diane. All we can do is try to be positive, assuming the best instead of the worst. Kinda like the stories you hear when you are pregnant: "Oh, you are tired? Think THAT's bad? I had [fill in worst case scenario story here]..." - how does negativity help the listener?

    One thing I will tell you from experience: the first time you forget something/forget a kid/bring someone to the wrong place at the wrong time, remember that EVERY mom does that at some point... kind of like scratching the door of a new car. Laugh and consider the momentary lapse a rite of passage into a club of busy moms who are actually HUMAN, and not a strike against you or your mama awesomeness.

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  6. Thanks for all the kind words and support, ladies. Being a mom (and a kick ass one at that) is hard enough without the Debbie Downers of the world. Some days are hard and somethings don't go as planned but we're all in this together. Thank you!

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  7. I can totally relate! Great post!

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  8. I definitely feel like as a parent it is hard to not get sucked into a constant loop of negativity...because it is so hard! There are tons of tiny complaints but the awesomeness is bigger. Looking on the bright side is definitely a skill.

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  9. I agree!!! I get annoyed with the warnings of things to come...especially having 3 girls! People feel the need to tell us how hard it's going to be. Well it's already hard..so I'm sure we'll deal with it:) great post!

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