A Window Of Love

Starting last month, every Monday morning after I drop off Henry at pre-K, I'm in charge of cleaning our church's kitchen. As always, Daniel is my companion and my "helper."  At first, I wasn't sure how he would do because as any mom knows - three year olds are the least helpful helpers around. However, I've found that over the past few weeks I've been pleasantly surprised with his behavior. Of course, I'm no fool so I have an arsenal of snacks and toys that I bring to keep him occupied.

He often sits in the adjacent hall where I can see him through cut out windows. And you know what? I've found that there is something magical about those windows. The fact that I had to tell him it was time to get dressed ten times that morning melts away. Him refusing to eat anything on his breakfast plate is a distant memory. His soaked pants from jumping in puddles seem to vanish. His disgruntlement over having to brush his teeth has subsided. The fact that he fought me tooth and nail on just about every.single.thing that morning seems to vanish. In those moments, when I stand there watching him play from a distance, I'm not sure I could love him any more...

That Time I Went Ice Skating

Isabelle was invited to a friend's ice skating birthday party. The invite said that for those kids who couldn't skate, a parent had to go on the ice with them. No problem, right? Well Miss Isabelle has NEVER been ice skating and I've been ONCE in my entire life. I was probably like ten years old. We were destined to be a recipe for disaster. Luckily, the girl whose party it was is not "just" a school friend but a friend and family we have known through town for years. I mean if you're going to embarrass yourself it's always better to do it amongst friends, right? Also, Isabelle had already told all her friends that I couldn't skate and they promised that they could just teach her. Yup, the six year old population had already lost all confidence in my ability to skate.

So Tim left work early so that the future gold medalist skaters could head to the party. After one turn around to get the required helmet that I forgot at home, we arrived at the ice. When we got there lots of kids and parents were gleefully gliding along the ice in skates that they owned. Umm...where were all the people who needed to rent skates and had never skated like us? Those people did not exist except for one other mom and son who arrived shortly after us. But as I told Isabelle multiple times, "It's always good to try new things." Note: I was mainly saying this to myself as she was not the least bit nervous.

And just like that - we were on the ice. We hugged the wall for a few minutes but then you know what? I could totally stand - easy peasy. I could stand and sloowwwwlllllyyyyy move my feet and get all over that ice. And you know what? Isabelle could too! She fell a couple of times but that was mainly when she tried to go faster. I knew enough to stay at a snail's pace.

So yeah, the party was a lot of fun. Isabelle was excited to skate for the first time. I was happy to re-try something new. The kids did a powerful rendition of "Let It Go" on the ice. We both got to enjoy time with our friends and we followed it up with pizza and cupcakes.

So if I'm being honest, I think the gold medal might be out of reach for us BUT the bronze is totally do-able.

Just two ladies on the ice

What Else Do You Do?

I was out not too long ago at a bar way past my bedtime. My husband and I were paying an arm and a leg for a babysitter and pretending to relive our carefree days. I was chatting with a girl that I had never met before and she asked me what I do. I told her that I was a stay at home mom and then she said, "Oh, what else do you do?" I can't really blame her for the follow up question. She was young, newly married, and clearly has no idea what a time suck children are or what my life is like.

She doesn't realize that I'm up before the sun each day and still can't seem to get things off my "to do" list. She doesn't understand that I spend every second of my days taking care of small dictators. She doesn't know about the fights I break up, the toys I fix, and the boo boos that I kiss. She doesn't know that it doesn't matter how many times I sweep the floor that there will always be crumbs. She doesn't know the times that I internally count to myself so that I don't explode when one of the kids is having a tantrum. She doesn't know about the laundry - the endless laundry. She doesn't know how many times I yell "STOP YELLING!" each day. She doesn't know that not one minute of my day is just for me. She also doesn't know that my days are filled with doubt and love - oh, so much love.

So I simply smiled and said, "That's all I do." After all, I know that being a stay at home mom is more than enough and maybe someday she will, too.

She doesn't know that some days I'm the best pillow around.

Giving Up and Giving Back for Lent

With Ash Wednesday upon us, I decided that I should give up something for Lent. Since I've been working hard on giving up diet soda (sadness) I've found that I drink more iced coffee (I don't drink hot coffee). I also never make it at home which means I'm spending money at Dunkin Donuts on it. So I decided to give up iced coffee for the next forty days. In order to keep up with my promise I immediately told Isabelle about it this morning. That girl is nothing more than a little police officer disguised in a six year old's body and I will never hear the end of it from her if I give in and get a coffee.

I also briefly described the concept of Lent to her. I think the whole Easter season is tough to explain to kids. I mean Christmas is all "It's Jesus' birthday - yippee!" and Easter is all "He was killed on a cross for everyone to see." It just doesn't have the same kid friendly vibe to it, ya know? Anyway, she said that she wanted to give something up which I think is great. Although, I also think it's difficult for a child to be able to fully understand and give up something that they love for that long. So instead, we decided that she would do a good deed each day during Lent. She's very excited about it and when I told her she could keep a list she was ecstatic.

So today was day one and her first deed is done and documented. I'm looking forward to seeing all the great things she does over the next six weeks. And really I think the concept of GIVING is way more cool than just giving up something. Leave it to Isabelle to outshine my season without iced coffee!

Thank God Jack dropped all the colored pencils today :)

Five Years Without My Mom

Tomorrow marks the five year anniversary of my mom's passing. I honestly can't even believe she's been gone five years. The days and months and then years just accumulate and before you know it it's been five. I've been busy raising children and living a life - a life that I so wish that she could be a part of. Although, that's only partially true. The last few years, and particularly months, of her life were filled with so many challenges. Her days were filled with doctors appointments where she never found any answers. Her furniture was slowly taken out to make room for walkers, wheelchairs, and eventually a hospital bed. Her days revolved around which medication she had taken and what she still needed to take. Medicine time was full of stress because since the muscles in her throat didn't work properly she often choked on the pills that didn't give her much relief anyway. It was a vicious cycle. She was completely dependent on other people which I know destroyed her a little more each day.

It was not the life that she wanted to live and although I would love to have her here with us I would never want to make her live that life again. I know that she is in a happier place now. I just wish that life could have turned out differently for her. I wish that she never had to be sick. I wish that her life was not full of so many struggles. I wish that she could be here healthy to see her grandchildren. I know just how happy they would make her.

But since you can't live a life full of just wishes I'll tell you what I do. I remember her. I tell stories to my children about how amazing she was. I remember how much she sacrificed for me. I remember her smile and her laugh. I'm inspired by what she accomplished given her limitations. Most importantly, I remember that on my darkest days she is pulling for me and loving me - even if I can't see her.

Me and my Mom in 2002 (It's a shame we don't look alike!)

Listen To Your Mother Boston 2014

When I heard that Listen To Your Mother was coming to Boston this year I knew I had to audition. Not sure what Listen To Your Mother is? Well it's a national show performed in cities across the country that gives motherhood a microphone. Original readings are performed live on stage by their authors that showcase the good, the bad, the heartbreaking, and the funny of all things related to motherhood. Pretty cool, right?

So a few weeks ago I headed into Cambridge to audition. Unlike most normal people who would be nervous about reading their piece on stage, I was most concerned about traffic and parking. This girl has long moved out to the suburbs and the thought of having to parallel park literally keeps me up at night. So I left plenty of time and arrived basically an hour early to ensure I could find a good old fashioned parking lot for my minivan. With a spot securely found, I headed in for my audition. I was actually the very first person to audition for the Boston show. I told the producers and director that I was either going to wow them or be forgotten quickly. Well I'm happy to report that I must have kind of wowed them because I MADE THE SHOW!!

That's right people, on April 26, 2014 I will be reading my piece about my mother live on stage at the Old South Church in Boston. I'm going to need you all to buy tickets HERE and come support me. You can also check out the official announcement of the cast HERE to find out the amazing people I will be sharing the stage with. I am honored and humbled to have been chosen for this production as I know there were many awesome writers who auditioned.

On one final note - YIPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Marvelous Monday!

Wondering why it's marvelous? Well the sun was up when I left bootcamp this morning which is something I haven't seen in a LONG time. So even though the temps are dropping today I know that the glimpse of sunshine means that spring is on it's way. Woo hoo!

Today is also the kids first day back at school after a week off for February vacation. Wondering what we were up to over vaca?

Well my husband ran a race the day after a big snow storm. Yup, he's crazy. The kids were psyched to play in the snow on the sidelines though and cheer him on.

Tim and his cheerleaders

I spent a night teaching Isabelle how to blow bubbles with gum. She was in her glory and I was completely grossed out by the amount of drool and gum spitting out that's involved when learning. Eww.

Bubbles!

The kids have been building more and more with Legos and even made their own good cop/bad cop courtesy of inspiration from The Lego Movie!

Good Cop

Isabelle enjoyed several sleepovers in the boys' room. The first night she slept in a sleeping bag on the floor but the next time she decided to join Henry up on the top bunk. They did surprisingly well up there together!

Plenty of room for all!

Beyond that we had lots of playdates, saw family members we hadn't seen in a while, and went to a birthday party at Monster Mini Golf. I also had a cavity free dentist appointment and we welcomed a new pastor to our church. All in all a great week (I'm blacking out the constant bickering between the three kids when we were home).

Hope everyone had a great week and are starting off the new week right!