Monday, February 25, 2013

My Name is Diane and I Don’t Read Books

My name is Diane and I don’t read books. It felt so good to get it off my chest. Although my timing may have been off since I announced it as my introduction at my first book club meeting. I had joined the club because I like the idea of reading. I also like the idea of a night out without kids that includes snacks and wine. The problem is I just don’t read books. I never really have. Needless to say, it was my first and last book club meeting.

I have friends who love to read. They spend hours devouring books and can’t get wait to get the next one. I’d like to be that way but I’m just not. Every once in a while I try it out again thinking if millions of people regularly enjoy books, why not me? I start a book but never finish it. It doesn’t matter the topic or the length of the book. I just can’t seem to commit. My cousin once recommended a book that had a very similar plot to a breakup that I had. It was virtually the story of my life and I only made it half way through. When I started blogging a friend gave me a book to teach me all the secrets of being a successful blogger. I only made it two chapters in.

Recently my blogging friend Marianne co-wrote a new book: EpicMom: Failing Every Day a Little Bit More Than You. While I was so excited for her I started panicking that I would need to read the book. I mean how can you not read a book when a friend writes one? Could I fake it? Could I just let her think I read it? Maybe. 

When the book came in the mail I was both excited and terrified.  So it’s been a few weeks now and I am here to report that I READ THE BOOK!!! I’m not even lying. I can’t even believe it myself. The book is written in short little stories (2-5 pages) that are the perfect length for a space cadet like me a busy mom. The stories and anecdotes are an honest account of being a mom, having a family, and life in general. They talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly and make you laugh while doing it. Also, how could I not love a book that has this line in it? “I walk the aisles of Target, my happy place, my true salvation, and I think how lucky I am, lucky to be born in America in a time when Target exists.” Amen.

One of my favorite parts of the book is also the footnotes. Anytime a company/brand is mentioned they reference who started it/why it’s famous but also something funny about it. Example: “Intervention is a television show on the A&E channel. Storage Wars is happier.” True story.

This book has proved my theory that to be a great mom all you have to do is be honest, laugh at yourself, and drink lots of wine. I’m so glad I read it and I totally think you should, too. You can buy one on Amazon HERE and once you’ve laughed your butt off, come back and tell me about it!

*I purchased this book with my husband’s hard earned money and received nothing in return for writing this post. All opinions are my own.*


  1. My husband could get lost in a book for hours, but I don't read, either. I find it extremely boring and I would so rather sit back and watch the tv than read a book.

  2. First off, I *loved* this disclosure.

    Second, I don't read many books either. I do read a ton of blogs and articles online though, so I have to think I'm reading the equivalent of many, many books, just not all by one author. I do love a good story, but maybe I like knowing they're about real people more than complete fiction.

    Third, this book actually sounds good. ;)

  3. Diane is the smartest woman ever to have lived. Listen to what she writes. I have her SAT scores and college GPA to prove it.

    Thank you so much, Diane!

    Love, Someone who is definitely, definitely not the author.

  4. I used to LOVE reading but, sadly, I can't remember the last time I actually finished a book (that wasn't an audiobook). I have a book by one of my favorite authors that's been sitting on my nightstand for like six months. Sad. I think my love of books has been replaced by my magazine obsession.

  5. Don't worry I donated that book (Dive from Clausen's Pier) to the public library and someone out there is reaping the benefits of it. Just because you are not a reader doesn't mean you aren't helping others to find & read new books! - Auntie J

  6. I love to read and used to read voraciously - before kids. These days, the most I can manage is the occasional light and fluffy book. For me, it's all about audiobooks. I can listen to them wherever and whenever I want. I make sure to listen to kid appropriate books when I'm with the kids and my kids have come to love listening as well.

  7. Funniest disclosure I've ever seen!! :) I'm a big reader, but I have to admit I've read less in the last few years, since having kids. Now, I'd rather sleep than anything else. :)


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