Google Dollops of Diane: Please Don’t Buy Me Flowers

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Please Don’t Buy Me Flowers



In preparation of Valentine’s Day, I’m just going to say it: I hate flowers. Okay, okay that’s a bit harsh. I guess I just don’t understand flowers.

While most people would be excited to have their (fill in the blank) buy them flowers, it’s really the last thing that I want. Yes, they are pretty and look nice but what am I supposed to do with them? We live in a small house that’s overrun daily with little tornadoes. Our coffee table is covered with Barbie, Spiderman, and farm animals – not roses.  All of us can barely fit at our kitchen table to eat never mind look at a beautiful, flower centerpiece. Our kitchen counters are used to cut crusts off sandwiches and a safe haven for endless art projects to dry. So if I do get flowers I constantly have to move the vase from one spot to another while we try to live our lives around the flowers.

Speaking of vases, what do you do with them when the flowers are dead? We have a collection of empty glass vases collecting dust in the basement. I suppose I could do something crafty and pretty with them. Maybe fill them with glass beads and put them on display? But again WHERE?

Oh, and speaking of dead – the little petals and leaves that start falling off? As if I need one more thing to have to sweep up.

And let’s not forget the main reason that flowers drive me nutty – they are so damn expensive! I just can’t get my head around spending $50+ on something that is constantly in my way and is already on its way to death’s door. Instead, I’d prefer $50 worth of Reese’s Peanut Butter Hearts or $50 worth of Diet Pepsi. Actually, better yet, I’d prefer 50 minutes of alone time at Target. 

So I respectfully repeat, please don’t buy me flowers.


9 comments:

  1. I love flowers. I can't explain it, but don't buy me a plant, don't buy me chocolates...just give ma beautiful small is fine, bouquet of flowers...even one perfect stem.

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  2. You know I love flowers. I can't help it. But, I love the arranging part much more than the receiving part. I also secretly hope one day my cats will eat them and....

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  3. I agree! If I want flowers on display and another thing to take care of I'll buy them myself. How about a certificate for a massage? Something I really NEED.

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  4. I love flowers, but the cost of having flowers delivered is obscene. Inexpensive ones, hand delivered, I find sweet. I hope you get lots of candy from your Valentine! ($50 would buy a lot of PB Cups!)

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  5. AMEN. I don't like flowers either. I would rather have the money to spend at Target, ALONE, like you mentioned.:)

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  6. Oh I am SO with you on this!! I am NOT a flower person at all either!!

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  7. I love the massage idea, Joy!

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  8. Perfect Valentine's Day equation -- 50 minutes alone in Target, with a $50 gift card to spend only on Mama, a jumbo DP and a dozen freshly-fried Krispy Kremes. Swoon.

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  9. I don't mind flowers so much - it's the whole idea of Valentine's Day that I mind. Although, I would rather have something that doesn't die after a few days if someone is going to spend all that money on a bouquet.

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