Sunday, January 15, 2012

Fake Clean and Fake Dinner

The other day I had a friend coming over and I was doing some last minute frantic cleaning. You know how it is, you have someone on their way over and you look around and suddenly you see every dust bunny, every piece of dried food on the floor, and every toy has jumped out of the toy bins. It’s as if they are all yelling, “LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!” even though I swear they weren’t there an hour ago. This happens to other people, right? It’s not just me living in disguised filth is it? Anyway, back to the frantic cleaning, I ended up using the end of the Clorox Wipes and so I was left with that half inch of water/cleaning solution at the end of the container. I thought to myself, this is awesome. I then carefully poured the liquid all around the inside of the sink and was careful not to wash it down the drain. I was psyched to think that even if the house wasn’t ACTUALLY clean, when my friend walked in, it would SMELL clean. Better to smell clean than to be clean, right? Well not really but it still works in a pinch!

This disguised clean scent reminded me how I was told that my grandmother would tell my aunts that even if they didn’t have anything ready for dinner, they should put a pot of water on and boil an onion. Why boil the onion? Because the smell of it would make their husband THINK that they had been cooking all day.  Pretty genius if you ask me. Of course, the problem does come when an hour goes by and you still have nothing to serve for dinner. Honestly, my grandparents liked booze a bit more (okay, a lot more) than they should have so I am guessing they just had a few drinks and forgot about dinner altogether. Maybe I’ll try this scheme out on Tim next week. Note to self: Buy onions and lots of alcohol.   

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